No More Girl Scout Cookies for You!
I’m having a really hard time today. Yesterday was my first day with a personal trainer and it was…. depressing. She measured me, weighed me, measured my body fat, then asked me what my goal was. I just want to look a little better for our Florida trip to I told her if I lost 10 pounds I would be ECSTATIC, but that I didn’t think it was realistic because I didn’t really feel like I had THAT much weight to lose. My goal: 10 pounds. Then the cute little 4′5″ ex-gymnast bitch says to me: “Actually, you need to lose 20 pounds to get to your healthy range”. TWENTY POUNDS?! That right there was it. The moment I developed a serious eating disorder.
So I’m on a 1500 calorie diet and I have to do this crazy workout regime which has me doing, in addition to weight lifting, cardio for 30 minutes with my heart running at 166 beats per minute. OK look, I work out a lot. I’m already at the gym all the time, and when I’m not at the gym I’m taking long dog walks. Not only that, but my resting heart rate is a very low 60bpm. I looked that up. That is the resting heart rate of a ‘well-conditioned athelete’. I cannot physically get to 166bpm!
I don’t know what to think about all of this. I went home and cried and felt like I couldn’t peel myself off the bed for the entire night last night. I skipped photography class. Just the fact that someone would look at me and think, “She’s got to lose 20 pounds!”…. Oh my god, it makes me want to throw up.
I’m glad that I have my girlfriends to yank me back into reality from perky cheerleader hell, but I think I might be changed forever because of what that girl said. I was getting my hair cut today and I was looking at myself in the mirror thinking, “Oh my god. My face is ROUND! When did that happen???”. I’m trying not to be insane about it, but it is hard. I weighed my ground beef before dinner. I have never in my whole life done that before.
This doesn’t feel good. It feels like I’m in a war against my own body. And a war against food. And I LOVE food, so this really sucks. I just wish I could go back to yesterday at 2pm. Back when I just wished my jeans were a little less tight.
Hmmm…anyone that makes you think your body isnt healthy as it is, if you are not morbidly obese or approaching it, is a Bad Person. I had a personal trainer type tell me I ought to get down to 115…which I haven’t ever stayed at…111 in sophomore year of high school. I was a bit incredulous and then wary…honestly I get PISSED at those who would inspire unhealthy body image in a woman.
When I am on cardio i get up to 172 so 166 is do-able, even sustainable but could be flippin miserable –or unhealthy (though as a young healthy woman you probably have nothing to worry about).
Please I KNOW I am not your long time friend with whom you have much credibility and trust, but FIRE that hag and find someone who is on the “healthy body image” approach.
Your biggest asset is feeling comfortable in your own skin, don’t let that barely trained “I’m the pseudo expert” anorexic workout lunatic make you think you have to turn into a waif.
grrrrrr !!!
She sounds like she hasn’t actually been trained at all other than someone giving her a clipboard with a chart on it that is not personalized AT ALL. You look AWESOME. Sorry the psycho-bitch thought you were aspiring to be Lindsay Lohan or that girl from Greys’ Anatomy..
I’m meeting with a personal trainer tomorrow..I’m scared now…. yikes.
I totally monitored my heart rate this morning at the gym after our discussion yesterday. Do you know after burning 500 calories after 45 minutes and 4.5 miles on the treadmill my heartrate was at 160? Tell me that isn’t worth the while.
I’ve said it once and I’ll keep saying it until you really believe it: you look great. You look as great today as you did when we graduated from high school. Please don’t obsess over this. It just isn’t worth it. Food is too yummy and life is too short.
Sounds like a lot of change all at once. Perhaps you could talk to your trainer about easing into the lower calorie diet? I hear you though, sounds like it would be very overwhelming. I do think that setting a smaller goal of losing 10 pounds is fine for now and then work from there. Best of luck.
I was amazed though when I went running (and I’m a bit out of shape) and how high my heart rate was so hopefully that will work out well.
shizzle, I know that feeling. I’m way way way overweight according to those stupid charts, but I go on 120-km bike rides and can bench almost my own body weight, so screw that. I will not hear that some anorexic 125 lb smoker is healthier than I am. Bistnach.
As to 166 bpm, at 27 your max heart rate should be around 195ish. 166bpm is 85% of that, which is what you should be doing hard interval training at, were you training to race. If you want to lose weight you’re way better off doing 45 minutes or an hour at 135-145. Also, I tend to average around 180 when I race, because I have a relatively low resting heart rate (52 uncaffeinated, 56 caffeinated… I know, it’s sad). If your max heart rate is 185 or something, you might be pushing into your anaerobic threshold if you go strictly by heart rate. Also, those squeezy things at the gym are wildly inaccurate, as is taking your own pulse (you can drop 15 beats in the time it takes to take it, unless you’re some sort of magician who can count beats while exerting yourself). Go by percieved exertion; work hard but not to exhaustion. Your perky cheerleader is full of shit.
Gah. See it’s experiences like that make me run from the gym. I mean we could all stand to lose a few pounds I am sure but do we need to hear that??? NO!! I say you get all buff for the only reason to kick her ass. hehe that is the spiteful band geek in me
Cripes, baby, fire that woman! Seriously, anyone who would look at beautiful *you* and say that you need to lose 20 lbs. must have some serious insecurities about her own damn self. I would pity her if I weren’t so irritated that she had upset you so much. I hope you are able to not take her words to heart. You are strong and beautiful as you are.
Okay, I really came on your blog to look for pictures that KC said were cool and I couldn’t get into the site that KC gave me so I thought I would try your blog. Then I started reading this post.
There is no way in HELL you need to lose 20 pounds. For you and all the girls that will read this, PLEASE quit letting society do this to you. You all know when you need to drop a few so screw them The minute we get guidelines on fat, cholesterol, etc, some whacko nut comes along and says, “Oh, no, gotta be LOWER!!!!”. AGHHHH!!!! Drives me nuts. Okay, someone else would like to use the soapbox now so I’ll get off.
I have no choice rather then personal trainer to make my body in perfect shape so I must log on to http://www.hublifefitness.com to have a personal trainer.