In honor of gay and lesbian day today, I thought I’d talk a bit about Fire Island.
Fire Island is an island just off Long Island that is 1/4 mile wide and about 10 miles long. There are no roads and no cars, except for a smattering of emergency vehicles, and people get around by walking on the boardwalks pulling red wagons. The island is all gorgeous forest and you’re just as likely to see deer on the boardwalk in front of you as people. My great grandfather developed a good chunk of this island and as a result my family has strong connections here. When I was growing up, we would fly out to Fire Island every other summer or so to stay at my grandma’s house in The Pines, a community on the island. Next to The Pines is The Grove. Both are very exclusive communities and both have clothing optional beaches. The difference is that on The Pines beach you’ll see beautifully sculpted, gorgeous men, and on The Grove beach you’ll see women. Both of these are gay communities.
My grandmother owned the Crew’s Quarters bar upstairs in the dock area. This was the popular hang out, and when we were kids it was where we learned to play pool and mix our own drinks. Shirley Temples of course. She also owned the one real estate office in The Pines. The men loved her there and she was very much the matriarch for the entire community. In fact, there is a tribute to her right near the red wagon corral.
The Pines was not only home to gay men, but it was also a get away for the likes of Florence Henderson, Tommy Tune, Dr. Ruth and more. Everyone is very discrete, and everyone is very accepting.
In 2002 Ryan, my brother Kevin, and I decided to make one last trip out to the Island. My grandmother died the year before and my parents were selling her house. For the trip, we invited along our friend Erin and her then-husband who really had no idea what to expect. The Crew’s Quarters is long gone with a new, hipper bar in its place. Being practically the only straight people for miles, and without my grandma to introduce us around, we were nervous about how we would be viewed as we walked down the board walks (and people did give funny looks at the sight of me holding hands with my husband). However, when we got to the bar that night and introduced ourselves to the bartender, we were immediately taken in. Of course they knew who we were. Some of the people at the bar remembered us as kids! We all toasted to my grandmother’s memory with a gin and tonic.
Then the fun started. They had a well-known piano player just sit down and start playing show tunes, which everyone in the bar knew and they all sang along with gusto. The boys in our group joined some other guys playing pool while the two of us girls got down on the dance floor. We were the most popular people in the club! All the guys were trying to dance with the two blonde girls. (side note: take care when entering the ‘women’s’ room in a bar completely full of men)
The rest of the weekend was a blur of beach and booze and we all had a blast. I think a lot about how they just accepted us into their community and treated us as if we were special. They could have very easily felt a bit threatened to have us in one of the only places where they feel comfortable just being themselves, but they didn’t. I think about this and I wonder how it is that some straight people in the real world tend to go out of their way to put gay people down, to make them feel unwanted, to purposely leave them out.
Exercise some tolerance on this day and every other people. And any time you want an emersion experience, I’m always up for a trip to Fire Island!
Graduate-level text books do not sell well on EBay. Or at Bookman’s. Or at garage sales. And forget about Big Brothers/Big Sisters, they don’t even want them for free.