Putting out Fires

Ryan and I go to the gym at least 4 days a week.  Sometimes together even.  :-)  I’ve often noticed that there are many different essential characters in every gym.  Let’s look at a few:

1.  The Muscle Guys:  these guys will only acknowledge each other in the gym.  You are only truly cool in the gym if you have biceps the size of bowling balls.  These are the guys who make grunting sounds which can be heard across the gym, and they try to be discrete about looking around to see who noticed how buff they are.  They will occasionally talk to the Boob Girls.

2.  The Wannabe Muscle Guys:  these guys actually physically puff out their chests in the same way we Ya-Yas (hi girls!) will be sucking in our stomachs this weekend at the swim party.   The Wannabe makes sure to hang in the general area of the Muscle Guy in the hopes that the Muscle will notice them and think they’re cool.  They’ll often ask Muscle to ’spot’ them, and then they will proceed to lift WAY too much weight, affording Muscle the opportunity to save him from certain strangulation by weight bar.

3.  Boob Girls.  These girls are VERY skinny with boobs that are about 4 times too large for their body.  They are not skinny from working out, mind you, because all these girls do is wear revealing clothing and flit around the gym talking to the Muscles.  Occasionally they will get on a cross trainer, but it will be set on ‘2′ and they will be going very slow with exaggerated up and down movements in order to, um, show off their assets. 

4.  Muscles Girls.  I choose not to think to much on this as its just scary.  They’re scary.  I’m scared. 

My favorite gym person: the guy who refuses to use the lower drinking fountain, even if its open.  He’ll instead form a line behind the guy at the tall fountain.  In fact, we’ve noticed this is EVERY guy.  What is that?  Are they less manly if they stoop for the shorter fountain?

Now I don’t fit into any of these categories.  I’m the girl in the baggy t-shirt actually sweating on the cardio equipment before slinking off into a corner of the weight room to do my routine, then I get out.  No chatting, no getting a spot from anyone, no sharing tips on good exercises. 

But no matter who you are at the gym, I’ve noticed that people unabashedly check each other out. It is almost a requirement at most gyms.  And it is just fine for a guy to make a comment to a female about thus and such tone body part.  Or a girl to comment on how another girl’s butt looks smaller.  Accepted. 

Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t already know, party at my place at
4:30 on Saturday.  Whether you hit the gym or not, bring your suit.  I’ll give you a shot and a beer, and you won’t care about how you look in it.