Alone Again
I realized this morning that yesterday was probably the first day in my entire life that I didn’t see a single person that I knew. I woke up, went to the gym, went to a bookstore, went shopping, did some house work. Alone. This is a totally new thing for me. I went right from high school, to community college (living at home), to university (living in the same dorm as two of my best friends), to Seattle (with roommates I’d already made friends with over email), to my parents’ house again, to my home with my husband.
My husband has a job where he is gone a bit. I’m not good about being alone. I sit in the house. Unmotivated. Unexcited for the day. Lazy. I know plenty of people who would fill this precious free time with chores and errands and projects. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of chores and errands and profects, but I can’t bring myself to do them.
How did I become so dependent on other people for my happiness?
So here’s my New Year’s resolution: I will make a real effort to spend my time wisely. I will learn to be on my own, and love doing things I want to do. I will not depend on other people for my happiness.
Isn’t it horrible when you discover such a terrible weakness in yourself?
